Town committee recommends abolishing DPW

In a hearing recently held at town hall, Milton’s Better Way to Do It Committee recommended abolishing the Department of Public Works. Committee chair, Howard I. Gno, pointed out that the proposal came after seven years of study which included checking out the town websites of Needham and Westwood, riding shotgun in town dump trucks, operating DPW steam shovels and getting to wear hard hats almost the whole day (seriously).

In recommending the proposal, Chairman Gno stated “our extensive study has shown that, while 100% of towns named Westwood and Needham retain their DPWs, after riding around in super big trucks, getting to operate heavy machinery and moving huge rocks and stuff, our committee feels that the DPW and all of its awesome equipment should be transferred to the Better Way to Do it Committee because we really had a blast with all of that stuff.”

Chairman Gno also went on to point out how, following such a transfer, the Better Way to Do It Committee could all stay up late and make boatloads of OT during snowstorms, especially on weekends. A warrant article dissolving the DPW, transferring all if its cool stuff to the Better Way to Do It Committee and authorizing $3.9 million of architectural drawings for a new Better Way to Do It Committee headquarters to be sited at an unspecified location (i.e. East Milton) is expected to be taken up at the spring town meeting.