Milton residents bewildered by neatly arranged trash barrels

Neighbors were left in a state of shock this past week, following regular trash pickups.

Used to having their trash cans tossed haphazardly in the middle of streets, in front of parked cars, and on top of small children, curiosity quickly turned into alarm last week when residents found their refuse receptacles lined up neatly along town sidewalks.

DPW Director Chase Stevie quickly issued a statement regarding the shocking development, in an attempt to quell town-wide alarm: “We are looking into the issue and promise a quick resolution. Rest assured, your trash barrels will endure their usual abuse during pickups this coming week.”